Breakable boys and girls

I always feel breakable. like my heart could shatter at any moment. Always worried someone will leave or I won’t have the strength to stay. Control doesn’t help and meds won’t cure it. I am breakable, always placing my life in someone elses hands, always trusting others. The only place I have ever felt safe is at home, secure under my parents roof its almost as if evil doesn’t exist. There is never a more comforting feeling than being sheltered by people you love. I love the line in the Jon McLaughlin song beautiful disaster, “she just needs someone to take her home”, Its so true. Thats all I ever wanted, someone to take me home. I have always wanted someone to point me in the direction of my father.I have wanted life to have road signs pointing me in the right direction. My heart knows that no one can handle it better than my maker. So it beckons deep within me to take it home. It begs me to place it where it can’t be harmed anymore. This world will disappoint me, people will leave me, and I will suffer but if I can take my heart back home then I can preserve what really matters. If I can place all my hopes and fears back where I belong then the stings of this world won’t leave such a mark. If I can remember that living like i’m dying only works if I am really dying then I can break free of the gut wrenching feeling that I have to succeed in this life. If I can know that this is just an instant and the pain will never last then I can grin and bear it. If I know that in the end I just need to go home then I have something to live for. I have something un breakable to cling to. No matter how strong I hope I can be it will never be enough. I will never be strong enough to withstand the weight of life but then again I wasn’t asked to.