Ben and I are spending another Sunday afternoon at a coffee shop, he’s reading and I’m trying to work on my book. I got a few lines down when the couple next to us literally starts to make out. We aren’t anywhere where they serve alcohol so we both looked at each other confused. I put my headphones in trying to avoid the smacking sound coming from a booth away. I type a few more lines when Ben taps me and whispers,
“They are having an affair”
“How do you know?” I ask
“They are talking about it”
Makes sense now why they have to make out in a coffee shop. I take out my headphones to ease drop just to confirm that they are in fact talking about their affair out in the open. Mindlessly I twist my wedding band around my finger and wonder at which point they decided that it had to come to this. I wonder when the grass on the other side of the road became that green. What I really want to ask them is what their story is. Is his wife unavailable and her husband too busy at work? Or maybe they just decided this was more fun. I don’t know their reasons but I would love to ask them. Sadly talking to strangers about their extramarital affairs is frowned upon other wise I wouldn’t hold back. As much as I want to judge them though, I know I have the same kind of selfishness in me that they do. At some point in my life I will face a cross roads where I can betray the ones I love and live for me or I can follow jesus. Those are really the only two options because you either live for something greater or you live for you. At some point I might want to pick other things besides Ben to love with all my heart, i’m sure when kids come I will be tempted to put them first, and if I ever have a career I will have to learn the balance of marriage and work. Honestly everyday I am faced with options that satisfy me and hurt someone else. I can call a friend in need or wallow in my own self pity. I can buy a dress that looks good or save the money for our future. It’s small decisions to a unselfish life. Its waking up everyday and deciding Jesus is worth following.
He is, In case you were wondering. It wasn’t so long ago that I lived for me. I remember the moments of gratification but what sticks out more is the overwhelming feeling that I was made for something more. We are made for bigger moments that coffee shop make out sessions. We are made to follow a huge God who has control of the world.
My prayer is that in twenty years Ben and I are still sitting together happily in a coffee shop enjoying a life made up of something more.