Ben and I got in an argument the other night. It was on our way home from seeing our new favorite guitarist at a little pub by our house. We were talking about our current situation (moving/not moving to Atlanta) and my obsessiveness with the idea that life should be easy when I blurted out something I didn’t even know I believed, God isn’t faithful. My current hard time had turned my truth into a lie and I didn’t even see it coming. Ben lovingly told me that God is faithful and that to believe otherwise is a lie. The foundation of Christianity is based upon the idea that God is faithful and for a moment I wondered what I had begun to believe.
Instead of letting my trial turn me towards God I had let it turn me against him and desperate for someone to blame I blamed it on him. I stopped seeing God as my confidant and starting seeing him as the enemy which is exactly what Satan wants.
The truth that I had so quickly forgotten is that God is faithful in hard times but he doesn’t do things in our timing. I want to move to back to Atlanta 6 months ago but here I am in Houston and God keeps whispering to me “there is a reason”. I’m sure he has one but its hard to see past the grief. This is what hard times do to us, they push us to challenge what we believe. Do you really believe that God is faithful in your hard time or is he only faithful when things are going your way? This morning I was listening to one of my favorite bands, United Pursuit Band, and this song reminded what I should be doing instead of whining.
“Even now heres my heart God.
It seems like all you do is stay hidden, sometimes I’m made to wonder if you’re working at all.
Even in the darkness I am listening for your still small voice.
Even now heres my heart God. I’m in love. I’m in love.”
So the question begs to be answered how will you respond in the hard times, will you proclaim your love to your savior who hung on a cross for a chance to know you or will you be like me and spit in his face? I can promise you I wasn’t singing that song until this morning when I finally realized what a child I had been. It’s hard. It’s hard to remember what a faithful God we serve when he seems a million miles away. Its hard to remember God is faithful when you are facing death, divorce, illness, and pain. Its hard to remember that God loves you when all you feel is betrayed. But, our hard times don’t change who God is. God is faithful, all the time.