Ben and I were so adamant about having a different kind of marriage, we wanted to avoid the pit falls that most married couples fell into so that we could continue our passionate love throughout marriage. We wanted to always stay in that place where everything feels great and you always have to be touching and we were convinced we could do it. We were convinced that our marriage would be different, that it would be an adventure, that people look at and wonder how you attain that kind of happiness. We decided we would wait to have kids and live our lives as one great journey together. This is how we ended up in Texas, the idea of exploring a new city far away from our parents would be a great way to keep our focus on our pinnacle marriage idea. We would find new restaurants, meet new people, and spend our nights staying up late staring into each others eyes. Sickening.. isn’t it? When we were dating we were convinced our fights stemmed from not being married and we would always conclude that when we were married it would be different.
Of course all of this was before our budget was implemented, before our dogs decided that there time alone should be spent ripping up trash, before living under one roof equaled wow I’ve never seen mold that color, before restaurants seemed to be more expensive, and before Houston really was 900 miles away from Georgia. Somewhere along the way we realized that our grand adventure wasn’t all that much fun with out friends to share it with, family to laugh with, and good guidance to help us navigate. We woke up from our day dream and realized that God never intended marriage to be a walk in the park love struck and holding hands. He meant for marriage to be hard work, sacrifice, and love that really matters when no one is watching. Marriage creates a love that can never be replicated but only after you have journeyed together to remove any and every human flaw that keeps you from God. There are days where reality is far better than the dream, days when you look at your life and get to say “I am truly blessed” but its only after the hard days that the good ones are so much sweeter. There is a loss of selfishness that you always allowed yourself but in the end you realize never really mattered. In the end you realize that the tiny memories are what really take your breath away, the jokes that always make you laugh, the sweetness of knowing you have someone to talk to about your bad day, and the moments you look around and realize you have someone who loves you unconditionally.
Recently we have come to the end of ourselves and there in lies our saving, when we realize we can only do it with God and while we never knew it would be like this it is also better than we could have imagined. Marriage is not for the faint of heart but it is for anyone who is looking to really understand Gods idea of selflessness.