We all have our Houston’s, as my dad so wisely told me a few hours ago. We all have things we wish God would change. My dad likes to call them our non negotiable, the things in life we won’t live with out. My non negotioables are that I will not stay in Houston forever and I will live near my family. It’s selfish but if I am being honest with you (and I won’t stop now) then thats the honest truth. When I pray this is my filter, everything is through the lens of what will get me back to Atlanta and my family as soon as possible. I don’t pray grand prayers about changing the world, maybe in my best moments i do, but in my real prayer life I pray selfish things that God has heard me say a million times.
This doesn’t just say a lot about me, this says a lot about who I believe him to be. If I really consider to who I was praying for before I spit out my list of needs would I stop? If I really imagined a throne room full of angels and jesus at the right hand of God would I let me whiny voice interrupt the angels for the something as minuscule as where I live according to google maps. If I really consider that the being I am about to beg to get me out of this town is the same being who created the town then would I stop my sentences. Wish I could say that I would. Sadly my Jesus has become very small, he has existed for me and up until recently that was going pretty well for me. Then I was faced with a choice, do I continue to keep my jesus small along with my faith or do I surrender my tiny Jesus for the real much grander one. I can tell you which one I hope I choose. I hope I choose the second one because as much as I don’t feel it right now a life with God is worth it, no matter the sacrifices. A life of glorifying God is better than any brick home in Atlanta. A life of surrender to God brings peace and getting to a place of peace is hard but it is always completely worth it.
So tonight, I am giving up my non negotiables and telling God the one things I should have told him when I first moved here, Your will be done. My prayer is that I mean what I say.
So I have to ask, How big is your Jesus? Is he pocket sized and only comes out to play when problems arise or is he grand, sitting at the right hand of God. Does he call on you to do his will or do you call on him when you need a parking spot. Do you fall to your face before his great glory or do you pray my will be done? Andy Stanley always said, the size of your prayers reveals the size of your God.