I still remember the first time I heard a preacher talk about sex; I was just coming out of my great rebellion and searching for a Jesus I could really get on board with. I was visiting my oldest brother at a youth camp he was leading and I loved the talks. We had fun snorkeling in the ocean, and in case you were wondering Destin does have a great variety of sea creatures. Each night I would sit with my sister in law in the back and watch proudly as my brother pointed thousands of kids to the Lord. When the speakers came on I would write furiously in my journal, anxious to learn about my new faith. In true church form fashion they had a “sex talk” on the last night of camp, nothing like a sex talk to get kids all confused and then sending them home to mom and dad.
It was a woman speaking and she got on stage and started talking about all the reasons why you shouldn’t have sex until marriage, the dos and don’ts kind of talk. I kept waiting to hear something for the kids who had already screwed up, something for most of the kids sitting in the crowded auditorium. There was nothing. I started to wonder, was God’s grace not enough for the kids who had already crossed that line? Are you telling me that God’s hand is mighty to save but oh wait not that mighty? I left feeling dejected and confused something I often felt in church. I couldn’t help but wonder how many girls were left feeling the same thing, how many told had themselves well I guess there is no hope for me?
I decided that night if I was ever lucky enough to talk to kids about sex then I would tell them what people often forget to say, God’s grace is enough and not only is it enough but it can wash you clean. If you have already been there and are wondering how you will ever be whole again then take heart, God can heal you. Sex is a different kind of sin, it’s much harder to heal from but that doesn’t mean that Jesus didn’t take it to the cross like everything else. If God knew that sex would be the one sin that could separate you from him then he would have found a way to rectify it. He would have never left the earth with that kind of outstanding debt. When Jesus was hanging on the cross the man next to him, a robber, asked him to remember him in heaven Jesus didn’t hesitate instead he said,
43 “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:43
That is the God we serve, he didn’t ask questions, he didn’t need a list of sins, he knew the man had sinned, he was hanging on the cross next to him but instead Jesus assured him a place with him. We serve a God that big, he can forgive the sins of the world and Sexual sin is no different, just because you were covered in shame yesterday doesn’t mean you can’t be smothered in grace today. Walking away from sexual sin is no different than walking away from any other sin. It starts with grace followed by a decision. Its a choice you can make to preserve your heart for your husband. Even if you have already walked down the road God can make a cut through.
Marni Arnold - Ahhhh Tindell…did you see my repost today on my blog? Oh my gosh if we weren’t on the same wavelength today! This post oozes with graceful truth…and I hope it reaches many. It reached me thus far and confirmed that He did indeed heal me from my shame over my sexual sin. Thank you for offering this reminder! So beautiful!
Ashley Cheatham - Wow, I have been feeling this exact way within the church. A real emphasis needs to be placed on grace. That no matter what you have done, you can be forgiven. God forgives those who are in prison for things we can’t even fathom,as long as they ask. And how dare we think He can’t forgive our sexual sins as well?! I often wonder if we are too guilty to ask for forgiveness. There have been times when I have been hurting so much from my sin that I feel I can’t ask, the guilt is too much. You are right that “God is that big.” He is bigger than guilt, bigger than shame, and bigger than any sin we can commit against Him. Praise Jesus that He took on the sins of the world so we DON’T have to suffer in shame! Thanks for writing this! It needs a place in the church just as much as the “sex talks.” 🙂
Ashley Cheatham - Wow, I have been feeling this way in the church as well. Emphasis really needs to be placed on God’s grace, especially for sexual sin. God forgives those in prison who have done things we can’t even fathom, just because they ask. How dare we think He won’t forgive our sexual sin as well?! I know for me extreme guilt was tied to my sexual sin. The guilt hurt so much I felt like I couldn’t ask for forgiveness. Even when I finally did, guilt crept in and over and over. Now every time I think about it I begin to pray. You are right about “God is that big.” He is bigger than guilt, bigger than shame, and bigger than any sin we can commit against him. Praise Jesus that he could bear the sin of the world! Thanks for writing this! Grace needs to go right along with the “sex talk.” 🙂
tindellbalwin - Great point! So glad you enjoyed!
Bella - Very Good!How's this quote I found by John G Lake – too many ppleoe are preaching his RESPONSE to revelation, instead of preaching the SOURCE OF his revelation (…which is Grace):"There is a consciousness, that seems to me by the Word of God and by my own personal experience, that must be possessed where any individual can enter into the direct presence of God and receive the baptism of the Spirit.That is the consciousness of sinlessness. The consciousness that your sins are gone…I tell you, beloved, that the external evidences of God and the power of His Spirit, no matter how wonderful, are a small matter compared with the consciousness of the Word of God in the human heart; in your heart and mine, bless God…" (John G Lake)John G Lake understood the Grace of God, and who he was because of Jesus's sacrifice, and THAT'S what bore fruit in his life!
Amanda Milligan - Wow, that is amazing, I stumbled on this blog by accident and tears rolled freely down my cheeks reading that. I’ve had a quick look at your book too and I think what you have done is great. The thing is perhaps by teaching grace, girls in that situation can be helped not to repeat the errors of their past which can lead to downward spiral with serious consequences that can shape their life. Praise God for the Jesus who paid it all on the cross, ALL on the cross. And thank you for sharing this so openly and I hope your story and ongoing work for the Lord shows many young girls Jesus.