When I was in high school my mom taught abstinence. I first had sex when I was 17. I knew lots of facts. I knew about STD’s and I knew what God said about sex but what I didn’t know was a real life story. I didn’t know the after math of sex. I didn’t know the destruction, the pain, and the sheer heartache that came from pre-marital sex. See this is what abstinence class never taught me. (not that the government would let them but that’s a whole other issue)
When I was seventeen my greatest worry was where the next party would be, how I would get my next high, or where my next handle of vodka was coming from. I wasn’t worried about STD’s. I was worried about my boyfriend leaving me if I didn’t have sex and I was worried about missing out on what everyone else was talking about but when I thought about Sex my mothers talks of abstinence got lost in the clutter. Now don’t get me wrong I am a full proponent of teaching abstinence I just want parents to take another step that school can’t provide.
Forget about the stats for a minute and focus on their heart, their vulnerable, questioning, want to right now heart. Think about where you were at seventeen. Think about the butterflies of your first love or the way it felt when you had your first kiss (ok we can all agreed that sucked but you see where i’m going with this). Kids want feelings not facts. This is why my mission is to show them the bad feelings, the painful ones that come once he has loved you and left you. These are the feelings that aren’t shown on TV. This is what Katy Perry doesn’t sing about. Because your teenage dream might involve your skin tight jeans but tonight is gonna remain on your heart forever.
So my mom was an abstinence teacher and where did that leave me? 17, broken hearted and no longer a virgin. 17, and wishing I had known the true depth of the word heart ache. 17 and wishing abstince could have conveyed the tear that was left when he did. A little piece of me was missing and I knew that I would never get it back. Here’s the problem. once the first piece is gone its easier to let the other ones go. Its easy to justify sleeping with the next guy because you heart is already torn. Thats a lie. Each tear is irreplaceable. Healable… yes! but replaceable.. No!
There is good news though, this pain is temporary and God can heal your broken heart but you have to stop giving your heart away. This is my challenge to you let God heal what is broken and move on. Don’t give any more of your heart away.