That feeling of being passed over, like prayers around you are heard and answered but your own fall on deaf ears. The wondering you feel every time you see a family that is hurting or a child that is alone. The pain that comes with the every days that don’t make you feel grateful but confused, things you once understood now seem muddled and the faith you once held so dear now seems childish. Oh how life has a way of beating us down. How it tries to rob our hearts of what we know to be true. How I can doubt something I would once give my life for when circumstances cloud my judgment.
I was reminded once again how personal my God is when I read Luke 7. John the Baptist had been in prison and I can only imagine sent up many a prayer on cold nights not to a distant God but to the Savior he had told others about, the one he knew, the one he himself baptized. But just like our lives can feel like prison walls that suffocate our faith John questioned. He sent messengers to ask the Jesus, as he was about to give his life, if he had been right (luke 7:18-22). Maybe he wanted to know he had not been forgotten or maybe he just wanted Jesus to confirm what John already knew, that this was the lamb of God the one who had come to take away the sins of the world.
Jesus had been performing miracles while John sat in a cell, he seemed to have forgotten about his faithful servant waiting for death. Jesus didn’t really answer he just sent the messengers back to john saying “Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me” (luke 7:23).
I think Jesus in others can be our stumbling block, or maybe he just doesn’t meet our expectations. We wanted more of a magical king who would sweep in and make everyone ok instead of a humble servant who asks us to take the hard road for his glory. Understanding isn’t ours to fully grasp but as my sister in law reminded me yesterday, we all have different learning styles and God caters to each of those. If I believe that God is who he says he is then I believe that he is worth whatever painful road it takes to acknowledge our need for him. We have not been passed over or forgotten. Our prayers have not fallen on deaf ears. They have fallen on the ears of a God who does not deal with us according to our sin, shows great compassion on us, and loves us with an everlasting love (psalms 103). I want that Gods ears attune to the hurt of the world and ill trust him when he seems silent.